Ask Me Anything Episode 4
After months and months of being behind, I've finally posted Episode 4 of Ask Me Anything. Read the production notes at the bottom of the video page.
In the meantime, see the video here, and enjoy.
Army Memoirs: Christine
I posted a story about my tank from when I was in the Army, and the response was so great that I was prompted to tell all the stories related to it. Thing is, it's hard to type the story, see? And so, I've decided to tell the story in video format.
You'll find the video files in the Projects section, but first, read the journal that started it all:Army Memoirs: Christine
My unit was slated to get brand-spankin' new M1A2's, but first we had to prep our old tanks for warstock. Which, by the way, was a complete pain in the ass. Some asshole in the maintenance office had a hard on for fucking with tankers, and so he used to inspect the sub-turrets of all the tanks for cleanliness before he'd accept the tank for turn-in (TI). That's a bunch of horseshit, because the dirt in the sub-turret has absolutely no bearing on how well or how poorly the tank operated.
But, I digress.
The entire unit was shuttled over to the new equipment motorpool in the LMTV, where we set eyes on the most beautiful creature a tanker can eyeball: M1A2's in sand color, without so much as a boot mark anywhere on the armor.
We were iffy about our tank, even though it was sort of random how they were issued out and numbered. "Hop, Towner, Polanco, Talosig, this one is yours." Even still, to know that the designation "C-12" (pronounced 'Charlie One-Two') would soon be stenciled onto the armor was enough to send us all into fits of nervousness. After all, as far as we were concerned, the 12 tank was cursed. The old Christine had been the cause of three metal screws in my Tank Commander's (TC) elbow, and was the responsible party behind the lacerations, contusions, abrasions, and general ouchies of every member of the crew.
And so we treated her gingerly, gently, and with reverent respect for the two weeks we spent on her in the field, breaking in the new gear.
All went well. Too well, in fact. After two weeks of relative safety (as much as can be expected when manning a $4M killing machine), we brought our beasts into the Division motorpool so the Assistant Commanding General of the First Cavalry Division could be there to see the tanks that accounted for a LOT of the Division's money.
The mechanics had taken the back deck off the tank and were using an overhead crane to pull out the powerpack, which is the engine, transmission, exhaust, intake, and everything that makes the tank go forward, backwards, and pivot. The powerpack weighs a shit-ton, and is about the size of a Volkswagen Beetle, so I don't know exactly what the mechanic was thinking when he saw it start to slowly swing towards the turret of the tank after it had cleared the hole in the back of the hull.
My entire crew watched as it all happened, and just like in the movies, it went down in slow-mo.
Like I said, the powerpack cleared the hull of the tank no problem, but as soon as it was free of the hull, it made a slow, swinging motion towards the turret of the tank, which was traversed over the side. The mechanic thought he could prevent damage to the powerpack and the turret if he applied some precisely measured counterforce to the powerpack; that is, he thought he'd put his hand on the powerpack and give it a shove in the right direction.
What he didn't count on was the fact that the powerpack is heavier than I-don't-know-what, and the turret is also heavier than I-don't-know-what, which was inserted into hull and bolted down by way of a turret ring. The hull is also heavier than -- you guessed it -- I-don't-know-what, and of all these components (powerpack, turret, hull, hand), the only thing that was gonna sustain any damage would be his hand.
The powerpack smashed his hand into the turret, but luckily for him, it didn't break anything but skin. This is the slow-mo part I'm talking about: We watched as blood trickled onto the armor of C-12, awakening the bloodthirst in her, and officially christening the tank as Christine.
What was awesome about it all is that me and my crew were pissed at the mechanic for feeding blood to the tank.
This was the beginning of a very painful chapter for the crew of the new Charlie One-Two.
Ask Me Anything: Special Delivery 1
Well, folks, I officially got tired of the delay in filming Episode 4, so I figured I'd film an AMA Special Delivery to answer the most common Frequently Asked Questions, or FAQ's.
You'll find it in the Ask Me Anything archives.
AMA Episode 4 and Project Updates.
I've decided to re-write the script to remove an actress (but not the character). Our would-be actress is the social type, and is extremely busy. As such, maybe she'll have to play a role in a different project, apart from Ask Me Anything, which is dependent on a semi-rigid time schedule.
I've also decided to make Episode 4 the first and last episode to rely heavily on anybody else besides me, Paul. It's far easier to write a script around a single actor than to wait for an actor to be available for a film shoot.
Anyway, I've got two more questions in the queue for Episodes 5 and 6, and if I had to guess, they'll be released in fairly quick succession after Episode 4 is released.
On the horizon is a fishing trip to Cabo San Lucas, and I'm expecting to shoot some footage from south of the border. Also, there is another project in the planning stages that I plan on calling "From Their Perspective." We'll see if the idea makes it past concept and shooting, all the way into post-production.
Also, at the behest of my close friend Aimee, Jez has conceptualized a novel idea for a commercial spoof.
Anyway, I apologize for the delays, so far, and believe me, I want to kick out some shorts pretty quickly to keep you all entertained. This unexpected hiatus is torturous to me.
And It's Official.
606flicks.com now has a news section, powered by Blogger. Incidentally, this is probably the only real html coding I'm gonna have to do by hand for this entire website, thanks to Dreamweaver.
Aaaannnddd, since I have your attention now, the latest and greatest.
Ask Me Anything Episode 4 Production:
The script has been completed, reviewed, and is up for revision. I have filmed most of my own parts, but seem to be having some difficulty getting everyone else together so we can do what we have to do.
Incidentally, we've found a way to achieve the greenscreen effect at a reasonably low price, and that can be found in the Video Projects section.
There are some additional non-episodic projects that are in the planning stages right now, also, but production on those will be postponed until after AMA Episode 4 has been released.